Fergie's Tech Blog

Satire: U.S. Government Plans Cheney Alert System

The above photo shows Vice President Dick Cheney speaking to reporters
at the bedside of the man who he "accidentally" shot this weekend
while on a hunting trip in Texas.
Image source: HuffingtonPost.com / Bob Cesca

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff announced today that his department would immediately implement a “Cheney Alert” system to warn Americans if an attack by the vice president is imminent.

The Department of Homeland Security has been under pressure to respond to the widespread panic and anxiety that have gripped the nation since Cheney shot and wounded a fellow quail hunter while on a hunting trip in Texas over the weekend.

Across the country, people have holed up in their homes and hoarded food and water, fearing another senseless attack by the gun-toting vice president.

“What we have learned, the hard way, is that Dick Cheney can attack without warning,” Chertoff said. “It is our hope that with this Cheney Alert system we will be able to give the American people some warning before he strikes again.”

posted by Fergie @ 2/13/2006 04:11:00 PM